When I was married, I leaned on my husband for friendship and support and asked his opinion on almost all matters. A problem with the kids or work and I went to him first for his take. Girlfriends were always around and important but not the ones that I went to first or listened to the most. Then I got divorced. What a change for me! For awhile, I would call my ex-husband and ask him for his opinion on some things like changing the tires on the car or what good movies were playing. I had a hard time letting go and finding me.
Slowly I realized that I needed to make my own way and find friends who would have my best interests. I still spoke to girlfriends that lived far away and they were always there for me but I needed women who lived where I did. After I divorced, I moved out to Denver and lived with my oldest son for 6 weeks while I got on my feet. I then moved to Boulder not knowing a soul. I moved into my wonderful little house on a warm sunny day. December 1st and all was well. The next morning I woke up to the threat of a huge snow storm coming in that would last for days. I remember that my car was not ready for snow and even has rear wheel drive; a huge "no no" if you want to be safe on the roads driving in Colorado. I remember feeling so alone and isolated wondering what I had done. I survived the snow storm, lonely but safe. I was grateful for the little things!
I remember feeling so lonely. A smile from the mail lady made my day! I started to venture out though, looking for what I wanted to do. I found a church and went by myself which I had never really done before. I always had kids or a husband to go with. Now the kids were grown and the husband was gone! I prayed for a new best girlfriend. It seemed like a stretch and it didn't happen immediately. I waited for months and stayed on the lookout! Soon God gave me the women who have become my closest friends. I also had one of my "before divorce" girlfriends move out to Boulder, who is a huge blessing and support for me!
I decided to start a girls night once a month at my house. It started at Christmas time, gathering to make cookies. It was so much fun, that we decided to meet once a month and "do" a craft, like painting. So much good has come out of those gatherings! I am realizing the wonderful gift of female friendship. They can hear any problem, laugh with me or share my pain. They bring healthy encouragement to my life and I am forever grateful. If you feel lonely, ask for a friend and hopefully soon, you will realize that women friends rock!