Happy and Single at Christmas

Coming out of Christmas Happy!

Christmas ended up being different this year after being divorced for the last 3 years. I came back to the town I last lived in while married and raising the kids. I have moved around to different cities to live in the last 38 years since I left my parents house to move to New York City to model, so I didn't have solid traditions. Once I got married though, at 25, I always had my husband or kids with me to take care of and celebrate Christmas with. 

This year, everything was different as I was single with no husband and grown children with lives of their own. It was hard to come back to a place with so many memories, especially at Christmas time. I wanted to be with family though and 2 of my 3 sons were here as well as my sister and my parents. I have been divorced for 3 years and this is the first Christmas that I have been strong enough to come back to all the memories.

If you have not been through divorce you may not understand what I am talking about but to all of us who are trying to rebuild a life after divorce, coming back can be difficult. To "get though" Christmas, I found that I had to prepare to be alone for some of it and not really have any expectations as I knew I didn't want to be disappointed. I was trying to guard my emotions.

I came down for a week and ended up staying at 3 separate friends houses. Focusing on that right there makes me so grateful and blessed that I had those options opened and friends who cared enough to see me  even though I moved away and our friendships changed.

I tried to see my sons as much as I could and work around them and their schedules this past week. I recognized that I raised them to be independent and if they were busy, I chose to feel confident that I raised happy, healthy kids who had a life instead of feeling neglected by them. I want them to have their own lives. I didn't want to put pressure on them just because I was down for a visit. And it was Christmas. It ended up working out really well and I had a great time with both of them.

Christmas can be such a tough time for so many. I learned to enjoy each moment and situation as it comes. To tried to make plans to see people but also to understand when schedules change. It is a matter of being comfortable with yourself no matter what and to focus on the real reason for Christmas. It isn't delivering presents or getting them as much as it is celebrating the birth of Jesus and the love of family whatever the situation. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas also.