“Being” versus “Doing”
I grew up being rewarded for “doing”. I got rewarded for getting good grades in school and fast times in swimming. (I started to swim competitively at 6 years old) In a way, I was even rewarded for obeying my parents because if I didn't follow their rules then things got uncomfortable and I lost privileges. I am sure many of you can relate and grew up being rewarded for “doing good”.
When I went to New York City to work as a model at 18 years old, most of that reward system didn’t work anymore and I was more generously rewarded for “how I looked” versus “doing good” . Since I never focused on my outward appearance before 18, I was in a sense, a fish out of water. HA! I had to learn how to focus on my outward appearance instead of applying what I learned in school.
I started to work a lot in modeling. I had to “do” the right thing by showing up and being pleasant while still looking great. It was a great time and I loved it. I got paid a lot of money for “being me”. I had thousands of photos taken of me just “being” me.
I had to find what I enjoyed “doing” the most as I started to get older and I found that I enjoyed television even more than modeling. The function of a model was to be a mannequin, not voice an opinion. Modeling was about people using my body and face to express their clothes or jewelry or product. I learned that I liked to voice my opinion and I loved “being” on television.
I stepped away from the business to raise 3 sons. Now they are all grown and I am back in New York. I have been struggling with what I should “do” each day or if I should just “be me”. There are so many wonderful opportunities in every area here in New York City that I can easily be lead in the wrong direction. I have to focus on what is good for me. I learned that I have to “do” certain things in order to rest in just “being” me again.
Now the balance for me is finding a way to express my voice and help teach and empower other women without trying to “do” too much. I refuse to try to “be” something I am not just to get popularity or LIKES on social media. I chose to trust that God made me and there is His timing to everything I “do”. I can only “do” so much while still “being” me. So daily I ask myself what I should “do” or if is okay to just “be” me. I am finding a healthy balance between “being” and “doing”. How about you?